Archive for the ‘The Velvet Terrace’ Category

Pay Attention: Iowa Edition

Posted by Jeff Iannucci on June 19th, 2009 under The Velvet Terrace  •  5 Comments

A few weeks ago, Roy implored the forces of Karma to release the tortured soul of Tony Kanaan, and mercifully was allowed to finish on the lead lap in the last race at Texas. He was nowhere near the lead, but he wasn’t in the infield medical care center either. Such has suddenly become the [...]

Living the Dream by Lying to Everyone

Posted by Jeff Iannucci on May 18th, 2009 under Jeff Iannucci, The Velvet Terrace  •  12 Comments

One of the unspoken truths of being a fan of auto racing is that deep down every single one of us thinks we are a race car driver. Even though you can’t differentiate the turn indicator from the windshield wiper lever, you know with absolute certainty that your expertise at turning a steering wheel and [...]

The Time Has Come for Derbification

Posted by Jeff Iannucci on May 3rd, 2009 under The Velvet Terrace  •  12 Comments

Like many of you, I planted myself on the couch with some Doritos on Saturday afternoon to watch a horse race – the only one I’ll likely watch all year – because I’m practically obligated to pay attention to the Kentucky Derby. It’s attended by thousands, it’s been held for well past a century, and [...]

Let’s All March to Madness

Posted by Jeff Iannucci on March 19th, 2009 under Jeff Iannucci, The Velvet Terrace  •  1 Comment

Welcome to the opening weekend of the 2009 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, also known as the Greatest Four-Day Spectacle in Sports That Doesn’t Involve 12-year-old Chinese Girls.

The Case of the Missing Ink

Posted by Jeff Iannucci on February 22nd, 2009 under Jeff Iannucci, The Velvet Terrace  •  8 Comments

You may have read the name “Dave Lewandowski”. He’s the IndyCar.com opposite of Bartleby the Scrivener, a scribe who literally hasn’t met a story he wouldn’t write about. Whenever the Powers That Be ask Dave if he wants to write about something so mind-numbingly unexciting as — oh, I don’t know – maybe a Scott Dixon [...]

I’ve been thinking about The Good Ol’ Days

Posted by Jeff Iannucci on February 6th, 2009 under The Velvet Terrace  •  7 Comments

One thing I’ve learned about the six readers of The Silent Pagoda is that at least four of them only come here for the pictures of Marissa Miller. I’ve asked Roy to post more pictures of supermodels and less shots of Nicaraguan jungle outposts in the hopes that the readership may one day escalate into double digits.

It’s Not Easy Having Green‏

Posted by Jeff Iannucci on January 28th, 2009 under The Velvet Terrace  •  8 Comments

Most of you probably didn’t notice that last week some driver you never heard of was announced by some team that hasn’t won an IndyCar race in years. This was because at that very moment you were busy watching two million people shivering with joy as part of the peaceful transfer of power in our [...]