… Jack Arute refers to Richmond Speedway as “the bullring” six dozen times? — 94%
… Robert E. Lee descends from the heavens and slaps Arute with a musket rifle? — a hopeful 2%
… during pre-race interviews, Ashley Judd will somehow mention the following when trying to quickly sum up Michael Jackson’s legacy: ancient Bolivian canoes, a hotly contested game of “Stratego,” and Debbie Reynolds’ fern garden? — 72%
… the “Start your engines!!” portion of the procedings will be performed by some guy you’ve never heard of from SunTrust’s investment division, causing me to once again internally hemorrhage — 68%
… as soon as the green flag drops, Bob Jenkins lets loose with a mighty, old-timey ”THE BISCUIT’S IN THE GRIDDLE, CAPTAIN!!” — an unlikely (and unfortunate) 0.00000000000038%
… Tomas Sheckter duplicates his green-flag run at Iowa? — an equally unlikely 0.00000000000038%
… EJ Viso completes the green-flag lap — an optomistic 0.00000000000038%
… Tony Kanaan suffers another bad break when — on Lap 28, coming out of Turn 3 — he snaps a suspension rod, gets a staph infection, and has a volcano land on his head? — 51%
…
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**NOTE** This list will may be updated periodically throughout the Friday evening “casual liquor-drinking hours” weekend. Please stand by. Or post your own predictions in the comments. Either or.
By Amy, June 26, 2009 @ 7:40 pm
What’s the percent chance that Lazier will finish anything less than 20 laps down???
By pressdog, June 27, 2009 @ 11:14 am
I don’t know, Amy, I was at Iowa where Lazier was traveling at roughly the speed of smell, so finishing -18, given some yellows, might be doable.
By Brian, June 27, 2009 @ 2:14 pm
What are the odds that Robert Doornbos will find a buddy to collide with within 43 laps? What are the chances that Prince Marco will gesture impatiently when racers slightly greener than him refuse to swerve outta his path? What are the odds that Princess Danica will punt a crew member (hers, Marco’s or Hideki’s) because pit road is so darn narrow and the light was in her eyes, then gripe that her chance for a top-five finish has gone?
By dylan, June 27, 2009 @ 8:05 pm
Pretty good, I’d say
By pressdog, June 27, 2009 @ 10:17 pm
Chances of people who paid to watch richmond race paying to watch it again, .0000093%.
By pressdog, June 27, 2009 @ 10:17 pm
Chances of people who paid to watch richmond race paying to watch it again next year, .0000093%.
By Jamie, June 27, 2009 @ 11:12 pm
The chance that I will violently hurl when Jack Arute calls the Firestone Firehawks “Dr. Feel-Goods”: 100%.
Seriously!? “Dr. Feel-Goods”? Did I unknowingly stumble across porn? If I did, I do not want that ape Arute starring in it, that’s for sure.
By kswilsonesq, June 28, 2009 @ 2:02 pm
…percent chance that that top 4 drivers in points at this point aren’t at the end point (of the season)…REGARDLESS (and don’t EVEN try to start in with the “did you mean IRregardless?” crap – no I did not; and no, nobody knows the difference) of whether or not some gremlin occaisionally takes out one or more of their cars and what “alternate strategies” certain other teams try to employ, to which the Yellow Flag God pays no heed: O%.
By Jeff L., June 29, 2009 @ 10:32 am
Percent chance that the Pacers select a white guy in the 2009 NBA draft? 100% Sure, hindsight is 20/20, but so is foresight in this case
By Flash, June 29, 2009 @ 12:54 pm
% chance that Indycar will have anything resembling racing the rest of the year? I’d say roughly the same odds as Danica not bolting for NASCAR.
By John M., June 30, 2009 @ 10:25 am
% that a car in RED will win this season is…?
By musket ball, June 30, 2009 @ 5:09 pm
Percent chance Arute does his “squeeze a puppy” routine at Watkins Glen this weekend. Considering what he done to that pooch in Iowa a week ago….. utterly amazed