A few weeks ago, Roy implored the forces of Karma to release the tortured soul of Tony Kanaan, and mercifully was allowed to finish on the lead lap in the last race at Texas. He was nowhere near the lead, but he wasn’t in the infield medical care center either. Such has suddenly become the definition of a good week for Tony.

I would like to make a similar plea, this week for the memory of EJ Viso. There’s no need to rehash the awe-inspiring determination, fearlessness, and hip-checkability EJ demonstrated in 2008 – none of which has even once reappeared in this year. And why is that? Obviously, because like Tony – no more so than Tony – Viso hath brazenly spitteth in the face of Karma.

It’s bad enough that EJ has to drive a car with green paint – a superstitious no-no of such epic proportion Roger Penske refuses to have even a speck of the color anywhere near his cars – but this off-season Viso decided he was so NOT superstitious that he changed the number of his car from “33″ to “13″. Yes, it was his idea. Superstitious nonsense be damned, rumor has it EJ started smashing mirrors, walking under ladders and feeding live black cats to his pet snakes.

Did you know there is no pit box #13 at Indy? It goes “12, 12A, 14″. And do you know why that is? BECAUSE IN A SPORT INVOLVING DEATH AND LUCK YOU DON’T F–K AROUND WITH THE NUMBER “13″, THAT’S WHY!!!!!!

Want proof? Look no further than the fact that Viso is the only fulltime driver this year to not FINISH a race. Broken parts, evil car, collected in a crash by the Grahmburglar – it all adds up to a contiguous season of DNFs. Meanwhile off the track his beloved unicycle was stolen, Megan Fox stopped returning his phone calls, and his cover story at Turtle Fancy was pulled. Oh, and Danica Patrick still has no idea who he is. It’s just snowballing out of control.

Unfortunately I can’t simply plead for EJ like Roy did for Kanaan, because the first thing that needs to happen is for Ernesto J Viso to take the first step and go back to “33″. Or take “12A”. Or even “00-12A”, but for the love of all this it violent and entertaining, EJ, please IMMEDIATELY take that cursed “13″ off your car.

And while we wait for that do happen, here’s what else to look for at Iowa.

* Take a moment to remember last year and the devastation in Iowa caused by flooding, and recall that winner Dan Wheldon unflinchingly donated his race winnings to the relief efforts. I’m sure many others from IndyCar insiders to excited fans also helped out, so take a moment to remember all the hard work that had to be done and be sure to ask the Good Lord, Karma, and Al Gore that Iowa stays dry this year.

* Also remember that Hideki Mutoh finished second at this race last year, an accomplishment he hopes the ladies of Iowa will remember. Even a lonely Japanese race car driver knows the midwest farmer’s daughters really make you feel alright.

* I’m going to go out on a limb here and say a Penske or Ganassi driver will win. Not just today, but every race from now until eternity.

* On loan from Vision Racing, Ryan Hunter Reay will be making his debut in AJ Foyt’s #14. He becomes the fourth driver to take the helm of a car that has made the Top 10 once all year. I’m no racing genius, but I think we can rule out the problem here being the driver.

* Speaking of guys heading in the wrong direction, how about Mario Moraes? Take a look at his season sumary and notice that he’s gone backwards from the start of every race this year. Note the two other KVRT drivers, Paul Tracy and Townsend Bell at Indy, did not and ask yourself how well KV would be doing if they didn’t have a 20-year-old driver still on a learning curve.

* Tomas Scheckter has driven in two different races for two different teams with two different paint schemes paint scheme. I don’t know what his car will look like this weekend, but I do know Tomas is incessantly tweeting about “joining his sales team”. Maybe his car will feature those little tear-away sheets of paper with his phone number so potential “sales associates” can call him.

* On a short oval track that should feature nearly constant traffic for the drivers, Danica Patrick and Marco Andretti will likely get a chance to rediscover their “camaraderie”. If there is ever an IndyCar reality series, it needs to be based on AGR. With the years of drama they deserve it. At the very least this should involve an episode of Dr Phil.

* Olympic medalist and recent “Dancing with the Stars” champ Shawn Johnson will be at the event in some celebrity-based capacity. If you’re eagerly anticipating a dance-off between Shawn and Helio this weekend, please leave the Pagoda. Thank you.