Archive for May, 2009

Living the Dream by Lying to Everyone

Posted by Jeff Iannucci on May 18th, 2009 under Jeff Iannucci, The Velvet Terrace  •  12 Comments

One of the unspoken truths of being a fan of auto racing is that deep down every single one of us thinks we are a race car driver. Even though you can’t differentiate the turn indicator from the windshield wiper lever, you know with absolute certainty that your expertise at turning a steering wheel and [...]

The Call of The Clambake: A Formal Invitation

Posted by Roy Hobbson on May 18th, 2009 under Indy 500, Roy Hobbson  •  5 Comments

There are certainly many good reasons to come out to The Clambake. Of course, one man’s “good reason” is another man’s “45-foot catapult raining down wonderment & watermelons upon passing motorists.” To each his own. So let us not dwell on what does — and does not – qualify as a good reason. It’s too vague, and too [...]

What They Don’t Tell You About the 500 — Part III

Posted by Roy Hobbson on May 15th, 2009 under Indy 500, Roy Hobbson  •  19 Comments

For those of you attending your first Indy 500, listen here. The majesty of the event shall never be questioned, nor will it be here — the Pagoda has made this quite clear. It’s a stunningly glorious affair, and well worth any burdensome financial expenditures and/or the possibility of resultant psychological counseling. However, for your [...]

Bow Down, Commoners … For Jim Nabors Is Better Than You In Every Conceivable Way

Posted by Roy Hobbson on May 14th, 2009 under Indy 500, Roy Hobbson  •  16 Comments

He has the voice of an angel, and the burly fists of Deacon Jones. He hunts crooked Mexican pharmaceutical executives for sport.

What They Don’t Tell You About the 500 — Part II

Posted by Roy Hobbson on May 14th, 2009 under Indy 500, Roy Hobbson  •  29 Comments

For those of you attending your first Indy 500, listen here. The majesty of the event shall never be questioned, nor will it be here — the Pagoda has made this quite clear. It’s a stunningly glorious affair, and well worth any burdensome financial expenditures and/or the possibility of Jell-O shot poisoning. However, for your [...]

What They Don’t Tell You About the 500 — Part I

Posted by Roy Hobbson on May 14th, 2009 under Indy 500, Roy Hobbson  •  9 Comments

For those of you attending your first Indy 500, listen here. The majesty of the event shall never be questioned, nor will it be here — the Pagoda has made this quite clear. It’s a stunningly glorious affair, and well worth any burdensome financial expenditures and/or the possibility of liver death. However, for your own [...]

What They Don’t Tell You (An Introduction)

Posted by Roy Hobbson on May 13th, 2009 under Indy 500, Roy Hobbson  •  10 Comments

Just had baby #1, did you? Or perhaps the first one is expected soon? Congratulations to you. That’s good stuff. Wonderful times await. Wonderful, terrifying, sleep-deprived times that will quickly rob you of the carefree life you once enjoyed – as well as any extra money & free time you might have lying around. But of course, you knew [...]