For those of you attending your first Indy 500, listen here. The majesty of the event shall never be questioned, nor will it be here — the Pagoda has made this quite clear. It’s a stunningly glorious affair, and well worth any burdensome financial expenditures and/or the possibility of eating 18 tenderloin sandwiches. However, for your own benefit, there are certain things you need to know heading into it … certain unpleasantries curiosities that are rarely — if ever — spoken of when recounting 500′s past. Things like …
… the occasional — inevitable — waft of marijuana smoke.
You will not know from where it came. Nor from whom. But rest assured, it will come. It will gracefully float through your section like a long tattered scarf on the Ghost of Snake Pit Past. That is how it has been, and how it will always be.
Now, understand this, Rookie: your opinion on the practice is irrelevant. Whether you condemn it or condone it matters not. What matters is how you react to it. This will speak volumes. That said, DO NOT seek out a police officer to demand a criminal investigation into the matter. He hasn’t the time for your indignant outrage. For on this fine day, his jurisdiction begins & ends with violent felonies, and nothing less.
Conversely, DO NOT begin gleefully belting out Chris Tucker lines and otherwise acting a fool. Don’t be ”that guy.” Everybody loathes that guy, and secretly wants to slam his face into a steel girder.
Instead, act like you’ve been here before. Keep your head. And take notice of those around you. For when that mysterious plume comes wafting through, the seasoned & savvy 500 Veteran remains unfazed, casually sipping his lager, completely at peace with the martial-law-like atmosphere that surrounds him.
Do that.
___________________________
By Flash, May 20, 2009 @ 1:54 pm
If you notice a smell of meth manufacturing, that isn’t coming from the stands. Most likely you’re in turn three, and it’s coming from Eagledale.
By splash-n-go, May 20, 2009 @ 2:32 pm
HAHAHA oh god i can’t stop laughing. I’ve watched from turn three for 18 years. If you DO smell marijuana smoke, it will most likely be coming from me, on the golf course. Or, if its a rain delay, out of my poncho.
By Coz, May 20, 2009 @ 2:57 pm
Splash, see ya in that patch of trees during the yellow flag following lap 100.
By Soupy, May 20, 2009 @ 4:07 pm
The Ghost of Snake Pit Past does not wear scarves. He wears a string of shrunken skulls dipped in low quality bourbon.
By P Daddy, May 20, 2009 @ 4:56 pm
On that note, you’ll likely walk by a Spicoli-like van 423 times on your way to the track. As a word of caution, just look the other way and walk fast b/c what you’ll see or smell coming from it will only cause you eternal harm.
By Hamilton Fish, May 21, 2009 @ 12:27 pm
My reaction to this has always been to tell my 7 year old, “someday you’ll grow to appreciate even love this smell. Take it in son. Take it in.” Some might call that bad parenting. i call that the 500.
By Sticky McCombs, May 21, 2009 @ 1:41 pm
Hey, folks! We have an NFL defensive lineman following the SP! (see: Hamilton Fish)
By splash-n-go, May 21, 2009 @ 2:29 pm
I’ll see you in the trees of the tee box of hole #2
By Roy Hobbson, May 21, 2009 @ 2:33 pm
Let’s refrain from organizing drug deals in the Pagoda comments section, shall we. That’s innappropriate.
Do it like normal folk do: via coded text messages.
(“I’ll take a quarter ounce of your finest graham crackers, please!!!!!!!!”)