I’d like to start this edition of Pay Attention with an apology to Danica Patrick, and by that I mean “You’re welcome, Mrs Hospenthal”. You see, last week I wrote on this esteemed site the following:

The last time Danica Patrick raced at Long Beach, she won. It was 9 years ago, and it was in the Celebrity Pro race, but she won. Really. She’s a winner here. Defending champion, in a round-about way … sadly, that’s the best thing I expect to be able say about her racing this weekend.

So what did she do? She had a crappy qualification session, started next to last, and then drove the car up 18 freaking positions to fourth, nearly making the podium where she could have poured the Chandon on Dario Franchitti’s stylish ‘do. No wonder she was pissed in the post-race press conference.

What we have here is the reason I rarely make predictions – it’s called a “reverse curse”, and if it had any reliability, it would afford me a substantial gambling career instead of the hand-to-mouth blogger existence (although putting money on “reverse curse” bets tends to neutralize the whole deal … either way I’m kinda screwed). It’s rather like a Ponzi scheme where I’m at both the top and the bottom, if that makes even less sense. [Ed. note: We call that a "Ménage à uno" here.]

Which brings us to Dan Wheldon, who has either won or finished second in each of the last four IndyCar series races at Kansas Speedway, exhibiting the kind of dominance held by few if any drivers in racing. Come to think of it, this kind of dependable result exists only competitions like “Lance Armstrong vs. Tour de France” and “Hammer vs. Nail”.

Now, I like Dan. I know he’s a bit quirky with his stunning dental work, his “My Little Pony” hairstyles, his closet-ful of sassy footwear, and his ever-growing Webkinz collection … but none of that changes the fact that on super speedways such as this, Dan drives with boulders in his pants. Low line, high line, fence line – it doesn’t matter, Dan finds his way to the front.

So I’m going to make my first prediction today that Dan will finish dead last, that his streak of Ones and Twos will end, and that his poor wife will have to deal with both a sobbing young son and a sobbing, uh, grown man, having to comfort Dan with his ultra-rare “Cheeky Cat”. Yes, that’s “the best thing I expect to be able to say about his racing this weekend”.

You know what I’m getting at here; if there’s any chance I can willfully apply my “reverse curse”, I’m throwing it at Daniel Clive Wheldon. A streak of any kind is a beautiful thing, and Dan’s at Kansas needs to be continued so that years from now we can see teams signing Dan as a 40-something-year-old “oval racing specialist” to help out their young drivers like Leonardo Kanaan.

And with that sad, pathetic attempt to help Dan and Panther Racing to Victory Lane, here are a few other things to pay attention to for the 2009 Road Runner Turbo Indy 300 at Kansas Motor Speedway. Beep-beep.

- Sarah Fisher returns to the IndyCar series this weekend as part of the limited schedule for her fledgling Sarah Fisher Racing team. Despite never winning in the IndyCar series, Sarah is still one of the most popular drivers around. This is due almost entirely to the constant drumbeat of promotion from pressdog, who will be live at Kansas in direct defiance of that latest restraining order.

- Also returning is Milka Duno, who’s new “Citgo” paint scheme features more blue with the red, so it should nearly identical to cars driven by Dan Wheldon and Hideki Mutoh. I’m sure you get those three confused all the time.

- Stanton Barrett, who prior to this month had about as much interest in an open-wheel street racing as Roy Hobbson, is currently 16th in the championship points after events at St Pete and Long Beach. Look to see if he can apply is oval racing experience from well over 100 stock car races to hold off Scott Dixon in 17th.

- Vitor Meira, 0 for 95. Zippy Chippy (0 for 100) is sweating BIG TIME.

- Look for Will Power, anywhere. He’s second in the points but P-zero on the track. If you have roughly $10 million laying around, you could probably convince Roger Penske to run his for the rest of the season. If you have substantially less you could probably cover the tab and tip a few pints with Will.

- Lastly, the main thing to look for from Fisher, Duno, Barrett, Meira and others is what effect the new mandated wheel-base requirement will have on the competition. Gearheads know what this means, although they will express their opinions somewhere other than here. We appreciate that you can probably also build your own IndyCar out of a Triumph TR-7, a transistor radio, and breathalyzer, but please – this is certainly not the place for such discussions.