Just gaze upon this here picture. GAZE UPON IT, I SAY! Focus in on the seduction … but don’t ignore the smarm either. Shhhhhhh. Give in to it. Let it embrace you. Let it caress your soul and/or thighs, just as it wants. Good, good, good.
Anddddddddd … stop.
Ladies — you are now pregnant.
Gentlemen — you are now the proud owners of a layer of back hair that could protect and insulate you throughout an Antarctic winter. Wear it proudly.
The point of today’s exercise? It appears as if Munchies McSuave here will be returning to our IndyCar broadcasts next season. And not surprisingly, IndyCar asked me to release an official statement outlining the Pagoda’s thoughts on the matter. Very well. I got your “official statement” right here:
[giving honorable, pre-battle ninja bow]
And so begins Round 2.
That is all.
By Flash Rensselaer, January 14, 2009 @ 11:07 am
And so it continues.
You did break one universal rule with this post. Whenever using the line “I got your ‘insert phrase’ right here”, it needs to be done Joey Buttafucco style. That is, grabbing your crotch while saying it, and ending it with a Brooklyn style “aaayyy”.
By AJ Foyt-Irsay IV, January 14, 2009 @ 7:23 pm
Do you think I’ll get some attention now?
By Sticky McCombs, January 19, 2009 @ 10:58 am
Obviously, Seacrest wasn’t available.
By Carrie, January 19, 2009 @ 3:48 pm
Careful there, Hobbson. Jack might start making cracks about your yap, yap mouth!
By Erudite Southerner, January 20, 2009 @ 6:25 am
Wow; that’s an old publicity photo you got from the Mindy League archivist. Fans know that after surviving a hellacious bout with skin cancer, Jack’s head has been recovered with rich, Corinthian leather.